Dear kiddos,
I know sometimes I lose my cool.
I'm not perfect.
I'm doing the best I can. It may not always seem like it. But I am.
I try to balance everything in a day - kids, dinner, laundry, family, and everything else.
It seems like the world is flying by in seconds and minutes and I can't keep up.
You're so young but you're so smart. You've seen a lot, you've dealt with a lot, in just the few years and months you've been alive.
You're smarter than me (sh, don't tell!) You use your imagination for amazing things. You bring out the kid in me again. Building forts in the living room, finger painting all over the dining room table, rolling around in the leaves. You make life worth every second.
Please know, no matter how crazy the day gets....
Cereal for dinner is ok.
We have days filled with doctors' appointments for every kid, grocery shopping, a trip to "M" and I forget that dinner comes before the day ends. It's not the best thing, but I'm trying. It's a fast solution for me.
You aren't always going to get McDonald's just because you ask for it, even with that pouty face that Nana gives in to.
I love you. I don't want to fill your tiny bodies with nasty processed food every week when we have a working stove and oven and crockpot and a freezer full of venison and chicken. Please, continue to eat cucumbers as a snack.
You won't always get to do what you want....
because I love you and don't trust those creepy people out there in the world. It's nothing against you, I trust you. I know you'll be as careful as you can be. I've lost a lot of people in my life and the worst thing in my mind would be to lose you. I cannot imagine that and worry everyday about you. I'm not trying to be mean or a "bad" parent. I am trying to figure things out as we go. I'm attached to you, and don't know what else to do other than say no and not worry.
Everything you do makes me love you.
You are an amazing soul. Everything big and small means the world to me. When you bring home that "blob" you painted on a piece of paper or the buttons you glued randomly all over the paper and called it artwork... well those mean a lot to me. That's why I keep them on the fridge and in a scrap book. I don't care about the dirty laundry, I love remembering how the clothes got dirty. I don't care if we have a spotless clean house, I enjoy dumping out the toy box and building a fort out of blankets.
I am proud of you, even when I don't say it.
If I could take all the kids in the world and throw them in a pile and pick the perfect kids, I would pick you guys out every time. You guys are perfect. Even when I'm having a terrible day and end up on the floor in the corner crying my eyes out because I'm overwhelmed and don't know what to do... you're still perfect. Next time I find myself in that corner I'll just throw gummy worms at you and pray you let me have 5 seconds of peace.
Even though I don't say it every day, I'm really proud of all of you and I love you to the moon and back.
Love forever,
Mommy
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