The scariest thing in the world is being pregnant. When you go in for that first ultrasound, whether it's your first kid or 16th kid, it's scary. You don't know what you're going to see - will there be a heartbeat? will the baby be ok? (it's really hard especially after having lost a baby.) It's scary.. overwhelming.. shocking... when the technician says it's twins. You have to see for yourself to make sure that your parents didn't pay them off to joke around with you.
Before having twins, I'll admit, I was scared to death. How on earth am I going to handle doing everything a baby needs twice, plus tending to the needs of Elijah and Aiden as well? It was a lot to think about and take in. From the questions of feeding two at the same time, comforting them when they're both crying, changing diapers, spending time with each individually... You name it, I thought about it!
My biggest questions and fears were if they would come early, would they need any NICU time, would they have any problems? I think every mom has that fear, but it seems to be something mom's of multiples discuss quite a bit when they're pregnant.
I never imagined I'd have twins. We joked about it, they do run in both sides of the family (even though it's only the woman's side that determines frat twins, and identical twins are not necessarily genetic).
How did I react when the tech said we were having twins? Well, I was happy, scared, nervous, ready to throw up and dance at the same time. It was the greatest and scariest time of my life! I was carrying two little rainbow babies!
My husband slipped up and told the world on facebook without my knowledge before I had even announced that we were pregnant. (Thanks Jon!) And in nothing better than a one-word post that confused everyone!
There's no real way to prepare for twins. You can buy two of everything, but that's not what I'm talking about. Mentally, its something, even after they're born, it's hard to believe. I remember going into each doctor's appointment, NST, ultrasound and asking for them to make sure there's really two in there.
The entire pregnancy is a challenge. From the overwhelmingness of your giant belly, to the random people in public who think you're "ready to pop" when you're really barely pregnant and then the shocking look on their face when you say there's two, to the crazy amount of doctor's visits and the amount of doctors you end up with (I had a regular OB and a Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor, leaving me with 2 to 4 doctor's appointments a week). Then you pile on the amount of worry that twin pregnancies bring. Twin pregnancies are much more risky (compared to "normal" pregnancies), there's more complications that can happen, and bed rest is quite common.
And then it hits you... MONEY! You will NEVER have money EVER again. Ok, you'll have a little... if you save... but you'll need to buy twice as many diapers, formula if you use it, clothes, toys, etc. Everything comes in twos. And if you have other kids, you'll need even more!
Sleep is like a unicorn. When you're pregnant, it's hard to get comfortable. They tell you to lay on your left side and you should be fine. Well, when you've got twins inside your giant belly, there's no comfy regardless of which side. I always had one in one hip bone and one in my ribs, so comfy wasn't something I felt very often, not even sitting or standing or laying.
If having twins as your first, you already have no idea what you're doing with one, but now you have no idea what you're doing times two! Babies are scary little things. They get sick, they're so small and gentle, and they cry and need a lot from you.
Along the road of twin pregnancy, something scary will happen. Whether it be a minor scary, or a major scary, something will happen. You have to have a good support team by your side at all times. And by your side I mean literally, you'll more than likely need help getting up from the bed or couch or floor or bath.
The hospital will be your home for a bit. Most twins end up spending some time in the hospital. Whether it be a day or two, or a week or two, or a month or two depends on your children and the staff. Mentally and physically this will be draining. You'll need to make sure during their stay you get as much sleep as you can, spend as much time as you can with them, eat and take care of yourself. Also, don't let the nurses and staff boss you around. You can hold your child (unless there's a big major medical reason for you not to) and you can pump breast milk or even try breast feeding. Formula is NOT needed if you intend to breast feed. Do not let them tell you otherwise. You can do research and talk to a lactation consultant while you're there.
Be prepared for stares and questions. You'll be asked a ton of questions... the most famous being "are they twins?" Just respond with "yes..." and move on. And everyone "knew" or "knows" a twin.. or went to school with one.. met one once at the movies.. etc. Stories are commonly shared, and unwanted by us parents lol.
Do not compare your twins. They will grow at their own pace. Do not compare them to other children. Again, at their own pace. Each child is unique and will stand, sit, eat, walk, talk, etc at their own pace. Don't rush them!
Each of your twins is an individual. They will be grouped together as "the twins" quite often. But please try to make them each feel as they are important as individuals and not just a unit. They will each have their own likes and dislikes. They may not share everything.
But honestly, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I've had the most fun being pregnant with twins, and the greatest amounts of fun since they've been here. I'll admit we've hit our down hill points, especially having two older brothers along the ride as well. Between Addisin and Elijah both needing a billion doctors appointments, a hospital visit for a few days, specialists called, and Emmalynn having this odd mark on her belly which scared me... it's been an eventful ride filled with tears of joy and tears of fear. I love each of my kids.
