Dear NICU Nurses

Dear NICU Nurses,

For months I had imagined this easy birth, and bringing my girls home the following day. That all changed in an instant.Until that morning, I never thought I'd meet you. I never could have imagined that you would be such an important figure in my life. Seeing you for the first time holding my two little angels before I had held them, talking and singing to them, comforting them, and worrying about them.
I had never been inside a NICU. I had only seen them on TV and in photos. It wasn't something I ever thought I would see from the inside. But there I was for 5 days, bugging you with repetitive questions, asking for help, and just needing someone to talk to during a nightly feed at 3am.
You were the first to hold my little girls. You were the first to talk to them. You were the first to really see them. You rushed them out of the room just a few minutes after they were born.
Seeing you take care of my little girls, checking their temperature, calming them down when they would cry, feeding them their first bottle, being the first person they saw when they opened their eyes... you knew their signals, what their cries meant, you knew everything about my sweet little angels, and I knew nothing. For hours you got to spend time with them, making sure they were ok, while I sat in my bed wondering if they were ok, wanting nothing more than to be next to them.
The first time you handed them to me, I couldn't hold back the tears. It was one of the most joyous experiences in my life. I had never felt that way, I can't even begin to describe it. I couldn't hear anything going on around me, all I could think about was my two little girls were finally in my arms where they belonged, but they weren't there for long. They had more time to spend in their little box, more time hooked to machines, more time with me standing beside their bed staring at them with many emotions running through me.
Everyday I think of you. How blessed we are that you came into our life. You made sure my girls were strong, you encouraged them and helped me. You helped get them on a routine, and me as well. You explained things to us, made sure we understood, and didn't get upset when we asked you a billion questions repeatedly.
You took charge when the doctor wasn't around, and sometimes when he was. You knew what was best for them, and made sure they got it. You knew more about my girls than I did. You ran back and forth from the desk to their bedside to turn off the beeping monitors because they were constantly kicking off their cords and unplugging things with their tiny arms and legs. You kept an eye when Emma was having breathing problems, and when it got worse you knew what to do.
I paced the halls upset because I wanted to bring my angels home. I didn't know what else to do. You comforted me and kept up conversation, from the sad to the pointless, you kept me entertained.
I still recall the many times I would walk into the NICU and see you sitting in the rocking chair holding one of my little girls, singing to her, talking to her. You mothered them when I wasn't around. You cared for them as if they were your own.
Inside that locked room, the room that most people don't get to see, the room that gets pointed out but not seen on maternity tours, there's blessings that happen. You are the reason for those blessings. My girls' being strong and coming home after only 5 days is just one of those blessings. Most of the world will never understand how important you are, how scary that room is. I do. Very few do.
I'll never be able to repay you for what you've done for me. You fought for my girls, you woke the doctor and told him this needed to be done and made him listen, you pumped Emma's stomach when she couldn't breath, you made sure their IVs were just right, you helped me with pumping and trying to breast feed, you encouraged skin to skin, you reassured me that my angels were perfect, even with the many machines hooked up to them.
I cannot begin to describe everything you've done for us. I've tried. Every time I look at my angels, or I talk about their birth, you flash across my mind. I remember the faces and the names. You all still play such an important part in my girls' lives. You helped bring them into this world.
You cried when we were discharged. You came into the room to help us pack up, and give one last feeding. You entertained my two older boys. You hugged us and made us feel like family.
Where ever you are, you are God's angels.

Love,
A Twincess Mom <3